Damn. So I leave tomorrow evening. I've got so much more stuff to do, it's insane. I'm almost entirely packed, though, which is the important thing. It's just trying to clean up the chaos my room's become in the last 6 weeks that'll be the challenge. That and making sure I remember to do all the inane little things like make enough copies of my college diploma, print off passport-sized pictures for my visa, etc. etc. I spent some time with my grandparents today, which was awesome because they're hilarious, but also bittersweet because they're so frank about their advanced age and what that means. I mean, the fact of the matter is, I don't know when I'm coming back, my grandfather's going to be 93 this fall and although the doctor said last week that he has the colon of a teenager, unfortunately that's not everything. It's weird and selfish and whatever, but I'm not at all ready for them to die. They've been so supportive of me in whatever I've wanted to do or become...and they're so damn funny! When someone is so alert and sharp mentally, it makes it all that much harder to fathom that their body might be failing them. That makes it hard to leave. As does my parents' raging empty nest syndrome. My dad just sat in my sister's room (yes Janie, I packed in your room. Mine was a cesspit. I swear, I'll clean it...) and watched me pack. It was heartbreaking. Karen and Peter (my godparents) came by tonight to say goodbye, too. They're hilarious--Karen gave me these insane orange and pink knitted socks, which are actually the perfect gift, given that I constantly get shit from my German friends for a.) never wearing socks and b.) the ones that I do wear being grey-white and grungy.
On an entirely different note, the facebook now officially freaks me out. Of course I picked today to reject the five people who I'd left in "friend-limbo" for like, months if not years. Oh well. I mean, there were at least two of them who I really didn't have any idea who they were. But that is some creepy shit right there. I mean, everyone has a little bit of voyeur in them, but I'm sorry to say that the idea of who "friends" who on the facebook, or what groups everyone joins does not interest me in the slightest. The one thing I do like is that they now highlight what parts of people's profiles get changed. That's cool. Other than that...they should take it down a notch. Whoah.
Aaaanyway, there are about eighteen million things I need to be doing, not the least of which is composing a damn mass-email with a link to this in it. Or maybe sleeping. Sleep would be good. It's strange to think that the next bed I sleep in is going to be on a different continent. It still doesn't seem real at all. And I know it won't until I get there. I think that might be what I like about traveling--the way you're suspended between places. Nothing's really real to me when I'm sitting on an airplane flying over the Atlantic. I've got to be honest, I can't wait to see Stephan and the whole Rostock crew. It'll be stressful and all, but hopefully one of my interviews will pan out and things will start taking shape. I won't be able to post for a little while--until we're moved and have internet hooked up in the new apartment in Berlin, so this is tschao until probably the end of the month. By then I'll either be so psychotically busy that this will go entirely by the wayside, or I'll still be unemployed and stressed beyond belief. I don't know which of those to hope for, but let's go with the one that grants me a source of income.
until that day.
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