Hilarious and Embarrassing

So yeah. The last time I posted, I distinctly remember complaining that there was nothing worth posting about and that I was overworked. I was in a bad mood, forgive me. Really, there's always something to post. What I could have posted last time (as a potential reason for why one of my Adult Ed business English classes and I just haven't clicked) is the following story.

The scene is set. I'm stressed as hell, running around my apartment trying to find missing business English whatnot...like the textbook for the class and the corresponding CD. I'd been ravenous the entire afternoon, so I'd eaten basically everything left in the house (much to Stephan's chagrin when he came home, but that's another story. He still can't get over how much I eat.).
I leave, make my photocopies, come puntucally for a meeting with my department head, get a tour of the facility, my keys etc. etc. Fortunately, this kind woman also showed me where the ladies bathroom was. So I start teaching my class, and they're shy and quiet, like most classes are when they first start out--they don't usually know eachother and they're getting ready to wallow in their linguistic weakness for the next two and a half hours. It's a sobering prospect, I'm sure. I'm slightly nervous...more jittery, I would say, since of course first impressions are decisive and being as often is the case, the youngest person in the classroom by at least two years and coincientally being the person standing at the front of said classroom...well, it can be challenging and occasionally slightly unnerving.
About a half hour into class, I start feeling dizzy and sweaty. The air in the room is ridiculously stuffy and I'm sucking on my water bottle as much as my teaching duties will permit, but to no avail. After about 35-40 minutes of class, I feel the tell-tale stomach ache coming on. I excuse myself very curtly from my class and sprint to the aforementioned ladies bathroom. I made it with time to spare, get on with emptying my stomach and feel slightly better. I clean myself up a bit, and go back to class...because it's the first ever class I've had with this group, and I'd like to get it over with. Not 15 minutes later, I feel it coming on again. Deep breathing does nothing, and I wind up running out of my class again. This time it was really, really close and...well, I think after the fact, I managed to get most of everything I ate that afternoon off the bathroom floor. I do however, bear a grudge against the criminally non-absorbent institutional "recycled" paper towels they have there.
This time, I'm trying to be cautious and trying to clean up and before I can even get things half way cleaned up, I'm spewing like a fire hose again! This time, I managed to soak myself. It was one of the most disgusting things I've ever experienced. I'm sure I smelled godawful. I try to do what damage control can be done, and finally, I admitted defeat. I went back to the class, threw my coat on to prevent them from seeing that the entire front of my shirt was soaked and told them we'd have to make the class up another time.


So yeah. I then went home, slept for 12 hours straight and everything was fine. I have no idea what it was. I mean, of course, I was slightly nervous...but nothing that would facilitate something like that. I got up the next morning, taught 6 hours of preschoolers and did the next round of this Adult Ed class. I have the sneaking suspicion that the memory of our queasy beginnings haunts them to this day.

It's noon here, the weather is fabulously hot and I'm chilling in my bathrobe. My two morning classes in Spandau got cancelled, and at this point, I'm just glad to have some time for me. I managed to go running both yesterday and today and I'm hoping to be able to keep it up for the next couple of weeks. Since this latest flood of work, I've had neither the time nor the energy to work out, and I'm starting to feel it. It's amazing how much energy you get, though.

In other news, I got my second birthday present from Stephan, like...two and a half weeks early. It's so cute. He buys things and gets so excited, he can't keep them to himself for any length of time at all. (WARNING TO fe/MALE READERS--FOLLOWING TEXT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF FEMALE HAIR REMOVING TECHNOLOGY. you've been warned.)
So I'd mentioned I was interested in epilation which those of you reading this probably think is the fancy word for general hair removal. Wrong. Epilation is like motorized tweezing. Or for the more mechanically inclined, a lawn mower that removes grass by the roots. Right. So I'd mentioned that I thought this was a cool idea. Everyone knows that shaving sucks. My legs itch worse than a meth addict's when I'm done, and nothing helps. Sooooo I got one of these little buggers as an early birthday present. In lots of parts of Europe, these things are called Epilierer or Epiliergeräte. Mine is really cute and covered in lavender glitter. His name is Hugo. It looks like an electric razor, but the little barrels which go where the razor blades would be are actually full of little tweezers. Sound like a world of pain? Well, it kind of is. I'm still in the stage where I'm getting used to the the thing and for this purpose, the cool cats at Braun included a special little tweezing attatchment. With less tweezers. The annoying thing is, you have to grow out all your goddamn body hair until it's long enough for the little grabbers to grab. Bonus: you are shorn for a 3-4 week period. Now, it's possible that I'm just wayyyy behind on my hair removal technology and you can buy these things at home, but I'd never heard of anything like it. And the surprising thing is, it hurts while you're doing it of course...but when you're done, the pain is gone in like 5 minutes.

Anyway. I have the feeling that was probably wayyyy too much information about my hair removal practices for many of you. But I thought it was kind of cool. And if you saw Hugo, you'd love him. He's just so cute. That said, I think I've posted enough for today. Time to put the finishing touches on my application for a job as a documents editor in a law firm. I'm trying to break out of teaching...we'll see what the German Department of Labor has to say about it. I can have essentially any job I want as a freelancer/English teacher...but I have a feeling the minute you try to move into other sectors of the economy, you get shut down. But I'm optimistic. The job would be great...full time with benefits. Cross your fingers for me.


Tschao.
.mia.