Of Flowers and Goodbyes

[Imagine the world's hugest sigh of relief]

That's my general feeling right now. For about a week, I was showered with flowers, that special acerbic brand of German "constructive" criticism and bone-crushing hugs from incredibly small children. Most places I lied and said I wasn't sure I was coming back next year. The truth is that I'm done with a vengeance. I spent most of the morning throwing out old handouts from the kids and the millions and millions of unused photocopies I'd made. It amounted to two garbage bags full. I probably should have kept some of the stuff...just in case, but I'm really trying to break with my pack-rat past. I also have next to no storage space here, as Germans do not believe in wall closets. I still have to write up my invoice for June and the week that I worked in July, and do up my end-of-the-year reports for every.single.class, but getting rid of the sheer bulk of mess that had taken over my desk was really cathartic.

It wasn't a terrible job...and it was cool to hear the kids and the parents tell me how much they'd enjoyed my work. At the same time, though I know that this just isn't "it" for me. I've got a lot of potential and while the work I was doing was really challenging on certain levels, I feel like it's time to move on. The question is...to what?

I got a rather frightening letter in the mail today from the German Immigration Agency saying that I have the opportunity to go and state my case (concerning my application to work in a tiny bi-lingual nursery school here) on the 17th of July. Now, they used the word for "state your case" (vorsprechen) which can also be used for certain types of auditions or interviews. This all leaves me a little confused and wondering why they can't just tell me either yes I can do the job, or no, they want someone German to do it instead. So yeah, I have to call them and tell them that I obviously won't be able to attend, since I'll have already landed in Frankfurt by then. We'll see. The hell of it is, I don't even really want the job. It's moved from being plan B down to about plan C by now.

But speaking of jobs and plans, the interview I had last Thursday was with the headhunters, which I'd expected, but what threw me is that they really didn't say much at all about the specific job I'd applied for. They maintained that they would send my paperwork directly to an American law firm with their German headquarters in Berlin (a rarity, most of them are based in West Germany) who might be interested in me, but they didn't say whether or not this firm was the one who had placed the proofreader ad. So we'll see. It's all up in the air now. Kind of insanely so. And when I say "it's all up in the air" I really do mean everything.

Case in point: Stephan's financial aid for school. The issue is whether his dad is legally obligated to support him (normally parents are financially responsible for their kids in Germany until they're 27), or whether he'll get the money from the government. It's still not settled and until it gets settled, I've got way more financial responsibility than I'm comfortable with. I mean, in principle, I don't mind. When I came here, Stephan had to cover me for everything, since my money ran out after about a month and I hadn't started working. It's just that I don't have a job as of today. And that I may or may not get one in August.

There's also the wee little matter of our apartment. Which is one of the coolest apartments I know, due to it's great location, enormous terrace and huge windows. Unfortunately, we have the most evil landlady on the planet. She has systematically cheated us out of rent and is refusing to admit to anything (of course). Our apartment is over 10% smaller than stated in our lease. According to German law, our landlord is required to reduce our rent accordingly. The evil landlady from hell refused to believe our architect that we hired to measure the place, and sent her own--who deliberately padded his measurements to make the apartment bigger. I could scream! It's so obvious that they're wrong. Soooo lawyers have been hired (in Germany there's this amazing thing called 'legal insurance'--like health insurance, but for lawyers fees. We have that now. It's cool.) and the odds are good it'll wind up in court. We've talked to an advocate for tenants who said that there'd be no reason why we wouldn't win. That's good news at least, but god only knows how long it's going to take to get this circus settled. Sometimes I think it'd be easier just to move out...but I like it here and I'm sick to death of moving around. Anyway, stay tuned for updates on the battle for the Niederbarnimstr. 2.

So yeah, there's a ton of things that need to get settled, fixed, regulated and finished. When I think too long about it, I start to get a little panicky. Thank heavens the weather is wonderful and sunny and I can sit in the sun on the terrace and forget my troubles.

...Oh wait. It's not. I have a huge complaint to register with whoever's in charge of the weather in north-east Germany at the present. It's July. It's cloudy. It's freezing. I'm afraid for my tomatoes! There's no excuse for my having to run around in jeans and a sweatshirt two weeks after my birthday. It ain't right! I feel for you all who are in north America, suffering in the clutches of this heatwave y'all are supposedly having, but I hope it hangs around until I get there. I've had enough rain and crap weather to last me until next summer.

Enough complaining, however. If I'm honest, life here is pretty great. Stephan der 2. and his girlfriend Caro were here last weekend, Max was around for the last two weeks (Max is a great kid. Incredibly intelligent, incredibly spacey, writes his own hip hop...a general character) and we managed to get some good weather Sunday night so we could grill with Kai and Tini. I've got the next little while off to rest, relax and clean things up and Stephan hasn't failed an exam yet. Even if it sounds like life here is a battle, I'm incredibly thankful for what I've got. Ooh, speaking of things I've got...I've got skype! Add me, because I have no idea how to use it. Stephan got it for me for my birthday with this kick ass bluetooth headset. He went a little formal on the username, so you'll have to search me as margaret.tyler instead of mia.

But anyway, that's enough from me for now, it's time to get back to the clean-up, pick-up game. Hope everyone is well.